So, apparently you can buy a pill filled with real gold flakes so your poo will have gold flakes in it. That's not a typo, I really meant to say, it's to make your POO have GOLD in it.





If you buy this, it will tell me one thing about you, and it's not what you're thinking. What it tells me without a doubt is, that if you buy this, then you are a person who LOOKS at your poo. Because if you didn't look at it then you wouldn't care if it were gold. Of course it also tells me you're super weird and lame and have no priorities or concept of reality and decency but those are minor compared to the whole, looking at your poo thing. So if this appeals to you, will I call you a spendthrift? An idiot? A selfish bastard? Sure. But mostly I will call you a supergross fecalphiliac who relishes the sight of his own waste. Ick. Cooties.

It's actually for sale, it's not even just a concept thing. They're $425, which is out of my price range at the moment since I already spent my dough on a solid gold facial. But if you are looking for something a bit more in keeping with your budget, don't worry because I have already started marketing my own knockoff version. I ripped up Hershey's almond kiss wrappers and shoved them into a now empty pre-owned capsule that I found in the gutter. Only $200 and my pills will make your poo silver AND gold. And maybe with a hint of chocolate aromatherapy to boot.

I feel it obligatory to say, to anyone considering this purchase: you do know about the whole Darfur situation, right? They could probably use $425 too. I'm just saying.

Thanks to the incredibly well-informed Neatorama for having the courage to post about something so disturbing.